June 2024
We all have beliefs, whether we are conscious of them or not. They shape our perceptions, guide our decisions, and ultimately define our reality. Beliefs are convictions or acceptances that certain things are true or real. They are the lens through which we view the world. Beliefs can be empowering, driving us to accomplish great things, but they can also be sources of suffering, binding us with invisible chains. They influence our attitudes and behaviors, sometimes without us even realizing it. Understanding how our beliefs can cause us suffering is the first step toward liberation and living a more fulfilling life.Where do our Beliefs come from?
Our beliefs come from various sources: upbringing, culture, religion, education, experiences, and even our own inner thoughts and emotions. Many of our beliefs are created in the first seven years of life when we are like sponges absorbing and accepting all of our family’s and culture’s beliefs. We also create beliefs in childhood as a way to make sense of traumatic events that happen to us before we are able to understand the circumstances behind why people treat us the way that they do. Young children see their parents as perfect (because they seem to be all-powerful) and take things personally, so if their parent/s hurt or abuse them in any way they blame themselves, creating a limiting belief about themselves in order to justify their parent/s’ behavior.The Invisible Chains of Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are those that restrict our potential, narrow our vision, and often create suffering. These beliefs might manifest themselves in various ways:
- Self-Doubt: Beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do this,” or “I’m not smart enough” create a barrier to personal growth. These thoughts can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression.
- Fear of Failure: A belief that failure is a negative outcome can prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, or stepping out of our comfort zones. This fear can lead to regret and missed opportunities.
- Perfectionism: The belief that everything must be perfect can be paralyzing. It can lead to constant stress, burnout, and a perpetual feeling of dissatisfaction, as perfection is an impossible standard to achieve.
- Scarcity Mindset: Believing that resources are limited and there’s not enough to go around fosters competition, jealousy, and greed. This mindset can damage relationships and hinder collaboration.
Some beliefs that stem from societal and cultural conditioning (norms, stereotypes, and expectations) can create undue pressure, leading to suffering, such as:
- Gender Roles: Traditional beliefs about gender roles can limit individuals’ opportunities and choices, leading to frustration and resentment.
- Cultural Expectations: The pressure to conform to cultural or societal standards can create stress and a sense of not fitting in.
- Religious Beliefs: While religion can be a source of comfort, it can also lead to guilt, shame, or fear if individuals feel they are not living up to religious expectations.
Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs
To reduce suffering caused by our beliefs, we need to identify and challenge them. Here are some steps to help break free from limiting beliefs:
- Awareness: The first step is recognizing that these beliefs exist. Pay attention to your thoughts and notice patterns that might indicate limiting beliefs.
- Question Your Beliefs: Ask yourself why you believe what you do. Is it based on personal experience, societal conditioning, or something else? Is it serving you or causing you suffering?
- Reframe Negative Beliefs: Once you identify limiting beliefs, reframe them into positive or neutral statements. For example, instead of “I’m not good enough,” try “I am capable of learning and improving.”
- Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your beliefs. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you see things differently.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Realize that everyone has limiting beliefs, and it’s part of being human.
- Embrace Growth and Change: Remember that beliefs are not set in stone. You can change them over time with effort and practice.
- Reprogram your Subconscious Through Hypnotherapy: In the state of hypnosis you can change the way you think and feel about past events and present situations, enabling you to easily release any limiting beliefs.
Conclusion
Our beliefs can be powerful drivers of both joy and suffering. By examining our beliefs and challenging those that limit us, we can reduce suffering and create a more fulfilling life. It requires courage and persistence, but the reward is a life with fewer invisible chains and more opportunities for growth and happiness.
January 2022
Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions – 10 Keys to Reaching Goals
- Set goals that are big enough to really motivate you and to stretch you to grow, but not ones that are so big that they feel unattainable or overwhelm you. If they’re too big or too small you won’t take action on them. You can still set big goals, but give yourself time to achieve them. Where do you want to be 30 days from now? 60? 90? One year? Small achievements will build confidence and momentum.
- Set goals that are compelling, not boring. If a goal isn’t “juicy” it won’t hold your attention for long. If it seems more like a “should”, ask yourself why you want this goal. What motivating reason will propel you towards that goal? We do things that we think will make us feel better. Get in touch with the feeling you are trying to achieve.
- Create SMART goals: ones that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timely.
- Goals without action steps are just words on a page. Write down at least three action steps that you could take for each goal. Then every day deliberately take those action steps while focusing on the feeling state you are trying to achieve for your goal.
- If you’re having trouble remembering to take your action steps program your phone with your new activity or put up sticky notes or put it into your planner so that you do it every day. After doing it for 21-28 days it will become a habit, which will place it in the subconscious as your new automatic behavior.
- Hold yourself accountable. Keep track of your action steps, checking them off in a planner. Better yet, be accountable to another person such as an exercise buddy, a trainer, a life coach or a hypnotherapist. It’s harder to not follow through if you know someone else is counting on you.
- Make sure your beliefs are in line with your goals. We can literally block out (not see or hear) anything that is contrary to our beliefs, including that which would help us achieve our goals, or even not notice our progress toward a goal. Do you believe it’s possible to reach your goals? Do you believe you are smart enough, good enough, deserving enough? Start paying attention to the content of that constant stream of thoughts in your head. Does your internal dialogue about your goal serve you or sabotage you? Try writing down the thoughts that come to you about it and take a good look at them. For the negative ones, ask yourself, “Is this true?” “Do I know for SURE that this is true?” “What if there’s another possibility?” Then deliberately choose a thought about this goal that makes you feel better. Keep choosing better-feeling thoughts until you become a vibrational match for what you want.
- Vividly imagine and/or write out (in handwriting ) your goals ½ hr. or less before bed—this forms a direct connection to the subconscious.
- Ask yourself what need does the undesirable behavior meet? Find a positive replacement that will fulfill that need.
- Be prepared. Identify likely sabotage behaviors for your goal and create counter strategies ahead of time.
If you’re having trouble letting go of internal blocks, changing your beliefs or habits, or getting motivated, hypnotherapy can help you to make those positive changes that will allow you to reach your goals.
August 2021
Move Forward In An Uncertain World – Four Brain Hacks
Imagine how your life could be if you knew how to manage these stressful times. Imagine if you could regain the calm you used to have, and feel inspired and confident enough to move your life forward.
Your life may be filled with uncertainty, and as human beings we crave security. We need to feel safe and know that we have control over our lives and well-being. Fear and uncertainty can leave us stressed, anxious and powerless. Fear and uncertainty can drain us physically and emotionally; you may experience symptoms such as: low energy, irritability, negative thoughts or physical ailments.
Traumatic events in our lives trigger a predictable cycle of emotions: shock then denial, followed by anger and blame, then despair, then hope and finally acceptance. Some of these stages are governed by the emotional part of our brains (shock, denial, blame and despair). When we are functioning from the emotional brain we are unable to think clearly. Hope and acceptance arise from the rational part of our brains, the part that enables us to think clearly.
Where are YOU in this cycle of change right now? Many things are beyond your control, but your MINDSET is the KEY to helping you cope with difficult circumstances, enabling you to face the unknown and to step forward into your life again.
These four Brain Hacks will help:
- Express Your Emotions
The consequence of emotion suppression is that inner stress is allowed to build. Allowing your emotions free reign will decrease your stress.
- Press “Pause” – take a break
Engage in something different – and remember the more fun you have, the better!
- Listen to Your “Self-Talk”
How you speak to yourself matters – be kind to yourself and avoid negativity.
- Emotional vs. Rational Brain
Recognize whether you are engaging your emotional brain or your rational brain. Your rational brain will keep you on track.
If you employ these four brain hacks and focus on your goals you can take back control of your life. Hypnosis can help. It can create a positive mental/emotional state that will give you strength and energy, and the confidence and drive to move ahead. Don’t wait any longer! Personalized support is available for you right now. CALL NOW and take that first step forward!
June 2021
Alcohol Use During the Pandemic
Have we been drinking more?
The effects of people drinking more alcohol during the COVID-19 lockdown could be felt for a generation, some experts have warned. The research suggests that millions of American adults have drunk alcohol more frequently during the pandemic.
Why does it matter? Habits are formed quickly and can be hard to break. The management of alcohol intake is particularly important for well-being and mental health during this pandemic. Unfortunately, while alcohol can help us relax and give us a brief feeling of euphoria, the effects are short-lived and the long-term negative consequences of over-using alcohol can be harmful. If you rely on alcohol to manage your mental health issues, that reliance can itself become a problem.
And there are also risks beyond the individual. One in 14 (7%) survey respondents felt that alcohol had worsened their household tensions since lockdown began. You may well find that your drinking gets in the way of other activities and puts a strain on your relationships and your work.
What Can You Do About It?
While some will find that cutting down without support is possible, others will need assistance. My Reduce Alcohol hypnosis program will help. If your drinking has become a habit, it’s worth remembering that drinking is merely a mental “program” – you have “programmed” yourself to drink alcohol in just the same way that you have programmed yourself to ride a bicycle. These mental programs can be re-set and re-written. Hypnosis is an effective approach in dealing with the problems that excess alcohol can lead to – issues with relationships, weight and health. It will identify those areas and aspects of your life that may require tweaks and modification. In particular, it will enable you to adapt, change and to look at alcohol intake in a completely new way. Hypnosis will help you realize that alcohol is not essential to relaxation, and is not necessary as a crutch or coping mechanism. My Reduce Alcohol program will enable you to take back control, and will lead the way to a fitter, healthier you! And NOW – it can all be done from the comfort of your own home, wherever you are in the world. Online sessions are available.
Call me at (707) 498-4897 and let the changes begin!
April 2021
Are We Living In A Climate Of Fear?
The pandemic continues to be ever present in our lives, and many of us have been tested in ways we could not have imagined. It may even have reached a point where fear may in fact be ruling our lives.
Fear itself though can be a state of mind that controls all aspects of life, and it can show up in many guises.
It could be:
• Fear of loss
• Fear of a lack of security
• Fear for the future
• Fear of illness
• Fear for family safety, or
• Even fear of what others may think of us
In all these scenarios that fear on some level will influence the choices we make.
It’s worth remembering that although extremely powerful, fear is natural
human emotion, and it serves a purpose, to keep us safe.
This primitive response alerts us to the presence of danger and can trigger a life-saving fight-or-flight response.
But, in some cases this response can be most unhelpful. It can keep us “stuck” and give us an overwhelming sense of being out of control, of things around us just happening to us.
Fear let’s us see only the darkness, it certainly wants us to avoid anything new or unknown. It prevents us from making the right decisions, or in some
instances it prevents us from making any decisions at all, as we simply “freeze”.
Here are a few ways that can help you to live free of fear.
1 Identify your fears – what are you really afraid of?
2 Control only what CAN be controlled – and be confident in taking that control
3 Take action – whatever the situation, there is always something you can do – work out what it is – and take action!
4 Focus on the real present – and decide to live in the now.
5 Believe that you can – and will – overcome your fears.
6 Watch less news – news is normally pessimistic. But good news exists everywhere all around you. Write down all the good things you see.
7 Trust yourself – you’ve made it through all that life has thrown at you so far. Have faith in the future – you WILL find a way to face it.
8 Take time out – relax and gain some clarity of mind.
Just 15 minutes a day, focusing on yourself, can help you regain a sense of calmness and clarity, to be able to focus on the things you can do and be able to take back control.